My Teddy Bear That Was
by YoungandBold
Summary: One shot. Elena returns to her house right after she turns her humanity back on. She feels all of the memories that she had in that house and in particular, her teddy bear that was lost in the fire. - Just a short drabble of emotional turmoil! But I hope you like it!


**Hey! So I wrote this last night as I was watching old episodes of Vampire Diaries. And Damon being all Damon like grabbed her teddy bear in one scene and was just sitting there with it. And then I remembered watching the scene where Elena was holding her teddy bear (I dont remember the episode, just that it definitely happened) and it got me thinking; that teddy bear is probably ash now. So, I wrote this about Elena's thoughts on her burning down her house and her teddy bear. It takes place right after her humanity is back on. Enjoy!**

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The firefighter crews had cleared everything away. Nothing but bits of charred house and ash remained in the area. She could still see the foundation, or where it was. She stepped inside, remember where everything would have been. They had to demolish parts of the upstairs that had remained barely standing, but they already took all of it away to the trash. That's where her childhood was. The trash.

She wandered around the house. Walked through the entryway to the kitchen and stared at where her fireplace was; now just an invisible wall her memory grasped to retain. She then turned and faced the kitchen. The memory of the first time Caroline found out that Bonnie was a witch popped into her head. They had ordered take out and Caroline was being her usual bitchy self. At least the way she was before she became so much stronger as a person. Then she remembered the first time Damon and her had really talked. Before she knew that he was a vampire even though he showed off his super fast reflexes right in front of her with a glass that he caught. And then there was Jenna, cooking dinner and saying how hot Damon was as he and Jeremy played video games. Jenna who had tried so hard to make sure that we were OK, and we couldn't do the same for her. That still stung.

Then a memory before all of that. Before the loss. Before the vampires and the werewolves and the witches and doppelgangers. Just Elena, her brother, and her parents. She was turning six. Her favorite birthday party. Jeremy was stuffing his face with cake and Elena was sitting at the dinner table opening presents. Matt's was first: a beautiful little doll that she immediately loved. And then Bonnie's, then Caroline's: both Barbies, but different sets. Then her Dad handed her a little stuffed animal with a bow in its ear. It was a teddy bear. Elena had had one she got after she was born but she lost it on vacation just a month ago. Seeing this new one made her heart jump. It was so cute, and just like her old one. She remembered hugging it right away and then the rest of the day slipped away from her memory.

Her teddy bear. Where was he? She had forgotten about him after everything that happened. She walked over to where her room would be if the upstairs still existed, but she found no traces of him. He must've burned up in the fire. Then she felt it. On her cheeks, she felt the slight tickle of something dripping down. She raised her hand up to her eyes and felt the wet tears that were falling. Her childhood. Everything that reminded her of her parents or Jenna or Ric was gone. The pain and the happiness from those memories went up in flames. And her teddy bear. The one who she cried with after her parents died. The one she cuddled at night when she feared for her own life. The own that Damon always seemed to pick up for whatever reason whenever he sat on her bed. The one her dad got her when she was still so young and innocent. She burned him. She burned her childhood. She burned her humanity.

But it was back. She felt all of her emotions tumbling back into her brain when Damon killed Matt just hours ago. And now she was here. The place that she burned because she hated the way her life had spiraled in the last few years. But she completely ignored every memory before her parents died. Every happy memory was shoved into a box that she pretended didn't exist anymore. She hated herself for that. She hated Silas for killing her brother. She hated Katherine for trying to ruin her life so many times and building up this wall of hatred for herself. That's it. She can't kill Silas. But she can sure as hell kill Katherine.

She looked around the floor at the remnants of her former life. Somewhere in here is her teddy bear. The memories that he had. From watching her in misery to acceptance for her parents, Aunt Jenna, Ric, Jeremy; everyone that had even been in her room and would never be again. He watched her grow up. And now he was gone.

She sat down in the ash for a minute and pretended to cuddle a teddy bear that no longer was.


End file.
